Phoenix: The Time Keeper
Previous Installments:
He was a dark fellow in an amethyst tie; his eyes were
almost as black as the night. Across his
chin was a deep scar he’d gotten from fighting against a drug dealer named
Dorango.
He was a kind
fellow always trying to watch my back, I hated that. It wasn't that he wasn't a good partner; I
just preferred to work alone. Now he was
telling me to drop this case, to just walk away from my red haired beloved
surrounded in a pool of her own red wine.
"You know I’ve been
after The Time Keeper since he took out that blonde hooker, what was her name
again? Charlotte Chastity I think."
I said as I stood, spitting up some remaining bile. I hope you enjoyed this weeks installment. Come back for more Phoenix next week! You can tweet me at Lylathewicked.
"He was a kind fellow always trying to watch my back, I hated that."
ReplyDeleteCool line! :)
Have a fun Sunday!
Charley
Excellent!
ReplyDeleteI like the hard-boiled patois---does his beloved have a cork in her mouth? :)
ReplyDeleteWow! This snippet is outstanding. I was immediately drawn into this one. Great, great job.
ReplyDeleteVery intriguing!
ReplyDeleteYou showed a great deal about the way both characters work in a very short snippet. Impressive!
ReplyDeleteVery noire and dark. Effective snippet!
ReplyDeleteVery good. Technically he should walk away. He's too involved now. But that also means he probably can't leave it alone because now it's personal.
ReplyDeleteGreat imagery! "...surrounded in a pool of her own red wine." :-) Good eight. :-)
ReplyDeleteGreat motivation here for the rest of the story; now that it's personal, you know he's going to do everything he can (probably legal or otherwise) to find her killer. And with his partner watching his back, I'm guessing there'll be a lot of disagreements as to investigative methodology.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Ed. I think the person watching his back will really be watching now--and he'll be trying to dodge around it. Very good 8.
ReplyDeleteHistory Sleuth's Writings
Great noir feeling to this snippet. I love it!
ReplyDeleteI like how you use contrast and colors, it makes this snippet very lively.
ReplyDelete